


Here Without You

by Fnuggi



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 03:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fnuggi/pseuds/Fnuggi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy had lost many people in his career as a doctor, but none of those losses had hurt as much as this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Without You

"Damn it Jim, stay still" Bones yelled, his eyes wide with panic.

They had been on a planet with large deposits of dilithium that the federation was interested in. Everything had, up until now, been going as planned, but then the attack had happened.

Apparently, the two civilizations inhabiting the planet had been at war for some time, and someone had forgot to tell the away team that before they beamed down to the planet surface.

Bones was definitely going to have a word with Spock about that when he got back… If they survived that long.

Around the, people were yelling and shots were being fired left and right, and yet, for some reason, the only thing that Bones could focus on, was the fact that Jim was injured.

"No, no, no, Jim, stay with me, damn it" Bones yelled when Jim’s eyes started falling shut. "Scotty’ll beam us up any minute now" The last part was said to reassure himself more than it was to reassure Jim.

"Bones… ‘m sorry" Jim muttered.

Bones could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Leave it to Jim to apologize for something that wasn’t even his fault to begin with.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, darlin’" Bones replied as they were both enveloped in a bright light.

The next moment, they found themselves back in the Enterprise’s transporter room, along with the rest of the away team.

The team consisted of himself, Jim, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu, and aside from Jim, no one seemed to have been injured, much to Bones’ relief. While Bones may come off as a grumpy, no nonsense type of person, he truly did care for every member of the ship’s crew, especially the members of the bridge crew.

He had just never been very good at dealing with emotions.

"I feel cold…" Jim murmured, his eyes half-lidded.

Bones could no longer hold the tears back. This was the one thing that he hated the most about working on the Enterprise: having to see Jim go off on some half-assed mission where he was likely to get himself hurt, or even worse, killed.

It was even worse than floating in space in the God forsaken tin can that was the Enterprise, constantly thinking about when they were all going to die.

They had been almost through their second year at the academy when Bones had realized that he was in love with Jim. One night, after working a late shift, he had come back to their dorm to find Jim unconscious on the floor of their room with one of his hypos next to him.

Never in his life had Bones been so terrified.

When Jim woke up the next day, Bones had yelled at him for a good half hour before stomping off, to angry to say the things he’d really wanted to say.

_"I need you"_

_"I can’t live without you"_

_"I love you"_

Yes, those were the things that he hadn’t told Jim then, and now it was almost too late.

Bones pulled Jim in tighter, trying his best to ignore the dark red stain on his best friends yellow tunic that was getting bigger and bigger by the minute.

Damn it, where were his medical crew when he needed them the most?!

"Bones, I feel tired… So tired" Jim said softly, his eyes falling shut.

"Jim, darlin’, you gotta wake up. Help is on the way. I’m gonna save you" But even Bones could hear how hollow his words were.

This was going to be the one time he had dreaded the most ever since setting foot on the Enterprise: The one time where he wouldn’t be able to save Jim.

"You know you can’t, Bones" Jim said softly, reaching up to wipe a tear off of Bones’ cheek.

"Damn it, I just need more time!" Bones said stubbornly.

"Time that we don’t have" Jim countered.

"Please…" Bones begged, tears still streaming down his face. "Please don’t leave me Jim. I don’t know what I’d do without you"

"I’m sorry Bones" And with that, Jim was gone.

It was only a few minutes later that the medical crew arrived in the transporter room, and the sight that met them stopped them in their tracks.

There, on the transporter pad, was the ships CMO, and in his arms, he held the body of their Captain while repeating the words “I love you” over and over again.

But it was too late, and Bones knew that. He didn’t care that there were other people in the room, the only thing he could focus on was that Jim - the man who saved him, the love of his life - was gone and would not be coming back.

That night, Bones got out a bottle of Bourbon he had stashed in his quarters and drank nearly all of it before he stumbled to bed, wearing one of Jim’s shirts that he had forgotten there at some point.

That night, for the first time in years, Bones cried himself to sleep.


End file.
